bakapyrite (bakapyrite) wrote,

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State of the State of Existance

So Saturday I slept in until about 4pm. I felt pretty good, rested. Sunday I woke up and my head felt like gum that was squished out of shape and wouldn't move back. By the end of the day my head was fairly clear, although Bill had been over.

It's an odd thing. He can drone on and on about whatever, and usually I just ignore it and don't care. But some times he leaves and it's like all of a sudden my brain was bee stung and I have to kind of shudder and get the sound of his talking out of my head because it had built up and overloaded some sort of pain buffer. The last couple nights he was over were like that.

Today I wake up at about 8:40. Now, usually I *should* be leaving the house at around 9 or maybe even a few minutes earlier. But I've gotten to the point in my job where I pretty much leave the house at 9:10 every day. I don't care if I get to work on time, and neither do my coworkers. So I wake up, but the chemicals that make you feel sleepy are still heavily in my head. I take a shower and head for my car and I still feel as though I'm mostly asleep. Not really in a way that I couldn't drive.. I'm concious and cognizant.. I just feel like there's a warm blanket wrapped around my head, I guess.

I get to work and look at some random web site about something. Eventually I look at the ticket queue and check my email. There's an email from my soon-to-be shift lead about cleaning up cables in a row of racks. Every year we get audited by SAS70. Basically this is an independant company that comes in and checks our security and business practices and issues a rating so that investors can understand any of our strengths and weaknesses. A few months before this event happens, we do some cleaning. In this case, they (my manager and shift lead) came up with a list of rows for everyone to clean. I had to clean a few fairly empty rows, no big deal, and then one row with a lot of cabling to clean. I very slowly worked on this, but by the time SAS70 came I had still left some cables sitting in the row. I have no idea whether or not this was noticed, but the shift lead noticed last Friday and bugged me to finish up the work. Essentially, there wasn't all that much to do, but there were still a few cables hanging in the racks. I grabbed most of the cables but left a few hanging. Today when I finally check my email, I see a mail from him about the cables in the row. That's from the title of the email, but I haven't bothered to look at the body of it yet. Basically it could very well be a simple email about something I had asked him about, but I imagine he's going to mention how I didn't fully clean the racks, and in my current mental state I just don't want to deal with negative feedback.

Edit: Ok, so I looked and it actually was concerning a question I had asked him and not anything negative. My reaction is just reflective of my current mindset more than reality, I guess.

Basically, as I see it, there are a few roads ahead of me.

1) Stay with my current job in my current office. This would probably include attempting to eventually get a shift lead position or something. I'd still have to be physically at the office, so I'd probably want to find a new place to live closer to Boston.
2) Stay with my current job but move to a different office. This would include becoming proficient in tech support for either Intel or Unix, or maybe even something else. Perks would include a higher pay rate and potentially telecommuting. However, I still would probably want to move to a different place so I'm not tying up any house phone lines, and the extra income would facilitate that more easily. I wouldn't have to move that much closer to Boston, which also would be nice.
3) Step out of the airplane with a pack on my back. Is it a parachute back there, or is it filled with kitchen utensils? Things like this would include moving far away or attempting to take up a completely new job like writing or cooking, coding or html, or learning and translating Japanese or the like.

This week marks the end of my tenure on first shift. I've enjoyed it, but eventually waking up early starts to become harder and harder. Thursday I start second shift again, but it's more first-shift leaning. My new shift starts at 1pm and ends at 9pm. This will be easier on me, physically, but it will put a little extra pressure on extracurricular activities. Usually I get to Joe's by 7pm on Tuesdays, I'm hoping that the third shift guy might be able to show up around 8pm on Tuesdays so I'm only an hour late or so. Fridays I'll essentially be working from 1pm to 7pm.... most of a shift, but I should get to leave once the third shift weekend guy shows up. Of course, he tends to arrive on time like I do, so we'll see how that works out. Friday night gaming at home might be a bit shorter, or it might even have to move to a different day.

The first weekend of October is NanDesuKan in Denver. Mike is going to be headed up to Denver and I'm going to fly out on that Thursday, hopefully to get over the jet lag a bit better. Sunday I'm leaving at a bit after 6pm, which might mean that we have to leave while the ending events are going on, which would be unfortunate, but still much better compared to leaving a bit after noon like I did last time. My understanding is that Mike is coming up by himself, which is cool, but it's too bad because I'd still like to see Zen. Seems odd for the godfather to never see the godson, but some day I'm sure I will.

This was a pretty long and rambling update, but that was intentional. There's a lot of stuff in there, and I'm curious to see what people think.

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