If you want to get in contact with me, you can't. Fuck off. But seriously folks.. tip the waitress. No really, here are a list of some people that sit a few desks over and might have heard me bragging about how awesome I am. They might be able to help you, but it won't be nearly as superlatively excellent while striving for the futuristic vision that has made me Chief Visionary of my little corner of cubicle land.
Jane Smith x5554
John Doe x5555
Some guy who's name might be Bob x8675309
Jenny Jenny x2222
Feel free to call them and laugh at them. It's ok, I said you could.
What the hell is the division I even work for? Never heard of it.
(This was a parody of the usual "OOO" aka Out Of Office emails I seem to get every week from who fuckin' fuck-all knows who. And it seemed appropriate since I'm going on.. well.. a sort of vacation.)