bakapyrite (bakapyrite) wrote,

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Pride and humility and self-esteem

Throughout the whole of my being, I desperately want to be like everyone else. I don't want to be smarter or understand things better, because I consider my level of thinking ability to be something that comes standard on people. If I am smarter than everyone else, then by extention if I consider myself to be of normal intelligence, I would have to consider the average person to be stupid. That's not really how it is, of course, average people are average and I'm above average, I guess.

I've been enjoying playing WoW for the last couple months. For the most part, my guild is populated with non-asshats and nice people in general. But I notice that occasionally (or more frequently, perhaps), there's a core of people that know each other that won't respond to other people asking for information or to go on a run or what have you. I personally always try to respond, even if to say that I don't know or can't go, because then I'm acknowledging that the other person exists. I can understand how a group of real life friends can end up feeling like a clique, but I still wish they'd at least talk a little bit more when others do. I also listened in to one of their instance runs once, a dungeon that I consider to be trivial and I'd only done it two or three times at the time. They wiped a number of times, complained about how hard the instance was, and once the first boss killed them they gave up. A few minutes later myself and another competent and friendly guildie were doing our own run and picked up one of the old group members (one of the ones that wasn't complaining and I think is a decent person and player). We proceeded to clear through the instance in about 50 minutes or so without any major issues.

When I was driving in to work today, I was in the high speed lane. Of course, some speed cap six cars ahead was making sure no one was driving too insanely (and of course also making sure that us folks in the passing lane were just barely actually passing people). Going around a turn and looking at all the cars bunched up behind the speed cap, I was struck by how they, like the similar bunch of people in the middle lane we were slowly strolling past, looked like a herd of sheep. To myself it's quite obvious that you should either be in the passing lane, passing people, or you should be in the middle lane, not passing people. However, it's painfully apparent that a lot of people don't share this understanding and think that it's ok to be in the passing lane... just driving. You know, getting to where they need to be. Not in any rush, and people are passing them on the right, because you know, those people passing them are assholes that are misusing the road.

In that moment of seeing that a large percentage of the people on the road were sheep and that they probably did, in fact, lack the critical thinking skills that I have, I also correlated that information with the people in my guild. Some of them are smart, or at least helpful, and at least a few of them are pretty much sheep. They're useful as bodies in a run, and you can interact with them if you force them to talk back, but otherwise they'll just chew their cud and bleat whenever a wolf draws near.

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