bakapyrite (bakapyrite) wrote,

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One quip that Jim will often make after reading a post here is that my mood is usually "contemplative". He's also pointed out that for as much mental planning as I describe in my posts, my real world existence remains largely unchanged. Both of these things are true.

I think, in regards to posting and contemplation, the fact of the matter is that I don't really use this "Live Journal" as a journal of my life. Rather, I use it as a vent when the mental clutter builds up too heavily in my head. My posting mood is usually contemplative because I am usually contemplating when I feel moved to post.

When it comes to my life, I'd say that there are a variety of things going on, but procrastination and comfort definitely tend to rule over other aspects. It's interesting because I started working at Genuity at a place in my life that seemed fresh and full of possibility. I'm still working at the same facility a decade later, but it all seems stale and used up. The funny thing about working at Genuity is that it was extremely busy - the amount of work I used to do in a day is something that probably takes three to six months these days. And yet, I loved it and thrived. It reminds me of the line in Office Space that, paraphrased, goes something like "It's not that I'm lazy. I'm just not being challenged enough."

Since I've moved I think some things have happened for the better for me. Some things have been for the worse, but even then I sort of feel like they have been for the better, just because experience breeds knowledge, if you let it. Most recently, my passenger side mirror was smashed while parked on the streets in Allston. My driver's side mirror had been smashed a year or so ago, and in both cases it's been on the side of the street next to the sidewalk, so it's not just been a bad driver or narrow streets, it's definitely been a vandal of some sort. My apartment has always been a little bit of a love/hate thing as well, since I'm basically totally independant now, but the drawbacks of my room have always been somewhere in the background of my mind. Whether to move or not is always a question, but it comes closer to the forefront because sometime around the turn of the year (I think early February) for the last couple years I've gotten a letter from the landlords asking whether I want to renew or not (apparently they want something like three months lead-in if I decide to leave). So it's closing in on that time of year again, and once again I'll have to decide whether to stay or to move. I always kind of feel like moving would be the right call, but procrastination and comfort kick in and I end up staying. Ideally I'd like to find a place with parking that's got a few less traffic lights between the office and my apartment. And maybe some sort of built-in laundry and a gym or something. Guess I should take a look around.

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